Conference Call

I am sitting in the kitchen on a conference call with the people from Boston regarding the clinical trial in which the boys are currently participating.  Mark is at work on the same call.  Nathan is at Lego camp.  Libby is in the living room.  Bennett is sitting beside me having a purple ring pop.  Things are moving forward but not nearly as quickly as we would like.  I don't know if there is a speed that would make us happy.  I just want my kids to get better.  Nathan turning seven was a big reminder for me that time is moving along so fast and a cure is still not in our reach.  I can't think about medications that may happen in one month, three months, a year.  I need them to happen now.  I can't wait for lab testing and review boards.  The scientists and doctors shouldn't be allowed to engage in water cooler talk, take vacations or lunch breaks.  They should be finding a cure.  {of course I don't honestly believe this}  My three year old little man cares nothing more than the purple sticky stuff dripping down his chin...and now he is 'painting' his face with the lolipop.  I am crying.  Libby is on high alert, coming in the kitchen looking nervously at my expression to make sure her world is not crashing down around her.  The doctors are on speaker phone and I am shooing her away so that she doesn't hear the words "deadly disease" on the other end of the phone.