Finding the right words...

Libby is in Lancaster for Pony Camp so it is just the boys this week.  I have more to say about Libby and some of her issues but this one is about Nathan.  Yesterday after work and while Bennett was still at school, Nathan and I went shopping.  We went to the bakery to pick out a birthday cake, Wawa for lunch {a BLT Junior for Nathan minus the L and the T}, the thrift store and Target for school supplies.  I love spending time with each of the kids one on one and Nathan is especially fun!  He gets lost in the shuffle sometimes but he is such a great little boy! 

At Target a little boy stopped short when he saw Nathan and pointed at him, calling his mother to come "look at this little boys weird face."  His mother was several aisles over and did not even hear him calling her.  The little boy was very young and not old enough to know that this was socially unacceptable so I really could not be angry with him.  But of course I was sad.  I looked at Nathan for a reaction.  He had pulled his hat down further over his face and put the box of Hefty bags he was looking at in front of his face. 

I asked him if he heard what the little boy said and he responded with his typical "huh?"  I pressed him knowing there was no possible way he did not hear him because he said it two or three times.  So I said again, "Did you hear what the little boy said?"  He said "no" then paused and said, "you mean when he said my face looked weird?"  "Yes" I said, "That wasn't very nice."  Nathan said it made him sad and that is why he covered up his face.  His eyes got teary and mine did as well.  Hmm What do I say?  In recent months I heard the story of the girl who was born with no legs, abandoned by her parents, adopted and became a gymnast.  And then there is the double amputee Olympian who raced against able-bodied athletes.  Stories like these make me wonder what these parents did right?  It seems that manage to find a balance between expecting the most from their kids, not making excuses for them and encouraging them to pursue their dreams regardless of abilities.  But how I do that?  What do you say? 

After a quick little prayer I looked at Nathan and instructed him to never cover his face, that Daddy and me and many other people think he has a very handsome face!  But as I pushed the cart away my mind was racing, Do I tell him that someday it doesn't matter because our physical bodies will be made whole in heaven?  No, No, that seems way to deep for the middle of Target.  What about telling him that it will get better as he gets older because we are going to find a cure?  Hmm, somehow even I do not have the confidence in that statement to say it out loud to my little boy.  {perhaps I should work on that issue} And what about the possibility that it might get worse?  What kind of a spectacle are we going to be when Nathan and Bennett a little bit older? 

It just broke my heart that my little boy has to deal with a kid in Target telling him that his face is weird.  It breaks my heart that Libby will have to deal with this when she is with Nathan and Bennett.  It breaks my heart that Bennett will have to experience this too.  These thoughts consumed me through the rest of the store and as I watched Nathan play with Spiderman, Power Rangers and Star Wars toys {Libby would never allow us to spend time in the boy aisles. lol}.  Because I felt so bad, I even agreed to battle him with a Star Wars light saber in the middle of the toy aisle.    ahhh big sigh, deep breath....its so hard to know the right thing to say that will inspire my kids and build their confidence.  I want to push them but at the same time Iwant them to feel they are heard and acknowledge their very real and understandable feelings.

Nathan does not seem to notice things like the little boy in Target and I always hesitate to make a bigger deal out of them.  I don't want to put worries or sad feelings in his head that may be my feelings only and not his.  But I am glad I did in this case.  It showed us that he does notice more than he expresses.  Although tackling these issues is something we would love to avoid, sometimes it is important to go after them even if they don't demand instant attention.