IT'S A BOY!!

No, its not a baby or a dog or a hamster or any other addition to our family.  Nathan is having a playdate in half an hour and it is a boy from his class at school.  He is a typical 5 (almost 6) year old boy and I am crazy nervous.  What will they play with?  Will they find things in common?  Will he ever want to do a play date again?  Will it be a reminder for me of how far behind Nathan is in terms of development?  Why did I get myself into this? 

Well, that was yesterday and the playdate was a success.  Nathan, his friend and Bennett played together, Beyblades, kitchen and outside for a while.  This little boy is a really nice and smart little boy.  So hopefully this will be the first of many playdates for Nathan with boys and girls.  Of course, said little boy was going to t-ball later that day with other boys who are in kindergarten.  This is where I start to stress, not because Nathan HAS to be playing t-ball but all that social stuff that happens at those types of things.  Its no secret that I felt left out as a child and part of that was my own physical delays, last picked, back of the running pack kind of thing.  {Every year our poor gym teacher tried to teach me to do a cartwheel and every year she was disappointed} When you become an adult, those physical delays matter much less but to know that he has to go through all of that is painful for me.  I'm hoping he inherited Mark's "It is what it is" attitude and not my super sensitive, insecure personality.

Simple Things

After an eye doctor appointment this afternoon, Nathan, Libby and I stopped at one of my favorite stores {Marshalls} to get a swimsuit for Libby. Walking through the store we encountered another mother with a young son and daughter who were each a little older than Nathan and Libby. We repeatedly ran into them because we crisscrossed the store several times when Nathan had to go to the bathroom. The two other kids kept staring curiously at Nathan, really staring. He can often go undetected when he is wearing a hat but that was not the case today. I find myself becoming so angry when this happens. Nathan does not notice but Libby notices. Of course I am bothered the most. It just feels like we cannot do the simplest thing without Progeria interfering. We should be able to shop anonymously like everyone else. That is one of the things I will really appreciate when the boys are cured, no curious looks from people. Hey, a girl can dream right?

Along the same line as "simple things." Here are Nathan and Bennett with Nathan's new whoopie cushion from the dollar store! Ahh what joy a dollar and some tooting noises can bring!

https://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/-SYfb_HoDz3U6a_Qmd2Ks1llxhDBkWYrr_9e4eECD0g?feat=directlink

Dear Michelle

I thought about you a lot yesterday. Nine years ago yesterday, you gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Although you had previously chosen us to be her parents, you took one look at her and changed your mind. We were heartbroken but understood. Two days later you made the heart wrenching decision that we will never be able to fully appreciate. You made the decision that we should be her parents and potentially give her what you could not give her, two parents, security and stability. You left the hospital without your baby girl because you knew she needed more than you could give at the time. It was with so much joy and happy tears that we brought your “peanut” and our Elizabeth Jane home. We talked on the telephone later that day and it was difficult knowing that our joy at becoming a family caused you so much hurt.

Tomorrow it will have been nine years ago that we sat in the hospital parking lot waiting for Libby. Since that day we have done our best to provide Libby with everything that you hoped she would receive. We have made lots of mistakes along the way but somehow she is becoming a lovely young girl. She is challenging, just as I imagine you were to your parents and I was to mine. She loves animals and swimming just like you. She is very sensitive and caring and concerned about other people. She looks out for her little brothers despite them annoying her frequently. She thinks a lot and worries about everything. She tries and tries and tries things until she gets them right. With an awesome imagination she can spend hours playing with her Littlest Pet Shop or Polly Pockets. Her creaiviy keeps us on our toes!

She is awesome and we love her so so much! We know that in the next couple of years she will have more questions about you and why you chose adoption. We hope we can answer those questions well enough to satisfy her curiosity. We know that you chose adoption for yourself and your “peanut” but we are so grateful that you made us a family. We are so proud of her and happy to spend each and every day with her. I wonder if these birthdays are difficult for you. If you wonder what Libby is doing or how she is doing. If you could see her today we know that you would be proud of her too.

Behind

I am way behind on blogging and have nothing fabulous to say.  We are still here, plugging along.  I seem to do best when I am in denial about Progeria, pretending its not even here.  Ironically, that is easier these days with Nathan.  I feel like he is not changing so much recently.  Watching him get on and off the bus brings out the regular kid in him!  He looks so darn cute!  But Bennett's fingers are changing rapidly which has been difficult.  His knees have developed the same patches of scaley skin and he has been complaining that they hurt him.   I have been a bit lost and feeling hopeless the last week.  Although we have known the diagnosis for Bennett for almost three years, seeing is believing (and being forced to accept).